i feel i should re-live the origin of my last post, so you all should too


21
 

Today being Halloween, I decided to fuck with the major retard at school when I came out of science for break. He was dressed as Ash. Knowing this was going to happen, I brought a Mudkips doll. Thus I started the conversation, making sure no one saw me.

“So I heard you like Mudkips…”
“MUDKIPS? I LUUUUUUUUUUUUVE MUDKIPS.”
“O RLY? So, would you ever fuck a Mudkips, that is..” (he cuts me off before I could say ‘if you were a mudkips’)
“OF COURSE.”
“Well I just happen to have a Mudkips here, and…”

Before I finished the sentance, which would have resulted in me hitting him across the face with the doll, he grabbed it. In one swift motion his pants were down and he was violently humping it. Not to get between a man and his Mudkips I started to walk away, because there is no way I’d be caught wrestling a half-naked crazy guy humping a Mudkips.

Needless to say, within 5 to 10 seconds, some girls saw him and started screaming. I cooly walked into a restroom, pretending nothing had ever happened; not that I had intended that outcome, but now that it was in play I didn’t want to be involved.

I came back out two minutes later, and like any wanton act on school grounds there was now a huge crowd around him. He was still fucking it and baying this real fucked up ‘EEEEEEEEEEINNNNF EEEEEEEEEEINNNF’ sound. Suddenly a scuffle broke out in the middle, meaning he probably did something stupid.

I asked someone what had happened. A girlfriend of one of the football players tried to get him to stop, but he bit her for trying to take it away. Someone called in a few football players (all dressed up like Road Warrior) who proceeded to pummel the shit out of the guy. Meanwhile the school police were freaking out and having trouble getting in to the situation.

A few minutes later the intruder alarm went off and we were all shuffled into classrooms. Over the intercom the principal announced that someone had thrown a flaming plush toy into the library. Uh.. what the hell.

So we were kept there and about 30 minutes later the principal came on again. This time he was saying that whoever was behind the beating should turn themselves in. All of a sudden this woman began yelling, “I WILL SUE YOU FOR DAMAGES. YOU LITTLE PUNKS, I’M GONNA SUE…” and it was cut off.

I asked an office later what had happened. Apparently his mother had come to pick him up and threatened to sue for the beating and ‘whatever else happened.’ The school threatened to counter-sue because of lewd conduct, inciting a riot, and starting a fight.

So I ask you: do you like Mudkips?




we all herd u liek mudkips, so it must be true

(via mistylieksmudkipz)




i am the one percent

(Source: graphjam, via conspiracy-to-riot)




marsneedswomen:

As fans, if Frank Turner ever stops making music and touring, are we all legally obligated to take him down to the English channel, throw him in where the water is shallow and then drag him back to the shore?

(via heaventakethysoul)




rearrange-me-till-im-sane:

wonderfulbritain:

street in Caerphilly by Roxy London on Flickr.

What the hell are the chances of this coming up.

I think one of my friends live on this street…

I live on this bad mutha of a street, but there are better photos of it

(via strangerthings-have-happened)




Why do i feel like this

i feel like someone just stood me up, and i’ve no idea why




ah

that interesting twilight zone between my british followees going to bed and my american ones not having woken up




Good day

Is good




Just a thought

You know how everyone bangs on about being pressured to be the right size and how that’s evil and stuff, you do know being fat’s bad for you right? and smacks of a lack of self control.  

No I’m not saying barbie’s a role model or anorexia’s a good thing.




You know all those tortured singers that tell us sex doesn’t cure loneliness

well friends, they’re wrong




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